WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
