Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
