Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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