If that was your dad, he is hot
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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