How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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