I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
