I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
