Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
