their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Your dad touched me again.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
