Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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