She's JV to your varsity
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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