HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
