How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
