Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
