So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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