I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
