Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
