one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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