I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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