he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
