I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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