i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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