is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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