I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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