Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
