i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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