South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
