Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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