that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
