i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize