Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
