I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
