i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
