also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
