if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
