the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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