there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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