I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I have feelings that need drinking.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
