He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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