I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
