Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
