Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
