Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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