What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
