i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
two words: eviction party
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Found the puke drawer
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
