I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
