I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
