this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize