margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
