Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
