i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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