fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
