I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
