I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize