If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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