thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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