My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
