u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
