Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
