If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
