I think I died a long time ago.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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